Fear Season Episode 4. | Affection and Fear - can you reassure a fearful dog?
As we reach the halfway point of Fear Season 2025, I wanted to explore one of the biggest debates when it comes to working with fearful dogs, that typically divides opinion, and results in significantly different ways of approaching fearful dogs. This debate centres around the question of whether or not it is right to give affection to, or otherwise try and reassure a fearful dog - and how you might go about this.
The key question is this: Do you reinforce (that is to say, increase the practice of) fearful behaviour by giving affection to a fearful dog?
I have seen a few different ways that this question is approached and interpreted, and it’s a really important idea to explore. So in this article, I’m going to break down four answers - starting with the most incorrect answer and working towards the most accurate to reality.
It is perfectly possible that a dog may have an unhealthy association with any stimuli, whether that is physical contact, food, or anything else we might consider enjoyable.
(incorrect) Answer One | You cannot make a dog feel more bad about bad things by giving them things which make them feel good.
The premise of the answer hinges on the idea that if your dog fundamentally enjoys affection, food, play, or other commonly used forms of reinforcer, that providing those stimuli to your dog simply cannot make your dog feel worse about things such as loud noises, or other things they might be fearful about. For example, if someone loves chocolate - then they will always enjoy eating chocolate, and the enjoyment of eating chocolate will always have a positive effect - whether that person is happy, sad, angry, or whatever else they might be feeling. A person or dog who loves a hug will always benefit from the oxytocin released through the physical interaction of a hug - so how could it possibly make the fear any worse?
So where are the errors here? There are in fact several:
We cannot know how a dog relates to any given stimuli, or how they feel. It is perfectly possible that a dog may have an unhealthy association with any stimuli, whether that is physical contact, food, or anything else we might consider enjoyable. Dogs form through patterns and associations - we recognise that we can form an excited relationship to physical contact, or a calming relationship to physical contact. Dogs who are consistently touched when they are in pain, in a way which causes them pain, will have a fearful relationship with touch. In the same way, we can reasonably conclude that dogs which are chronically anxious and receive touch when they are anxious or fearful will develop an anxious or fearful association with touch. Dogs with severe Seperation Anxiety can develop a dependancy on touch that results in them being highly anxious as soon as physical contact is removed - which is also an unhealthy association.
The human who is giving touch or affection may also be doing so in a highly anxious way - and this form of communication through their state of mind and body language is very likely to be mirrored by the dog that is in a fearful state. Dogs are widely recognised to mirror the emotions, intentions and actions of their owners - so touch affection which is given by a worried or anxious person - no matter how well meaning - might have the opposite message to what is intended, when paired with tense or shaking muscles, an anxious voice, or other reactionary movements.
Dogs that are in a highly fearful state will usually begin to shut down - and stop absorbing information through sound, sight and scent - or becoming hypersensitive to these stimuli. A form of physical contact that may typically be enjoyable in a relaxed setting may be perceived as an overwhelming invasion of space to a dog that is in a hypersensitive state.
(incorrect) Answer Two | Food/Affection = Positive. Fear = Negative. Giving ‘Positive’ food and affection around ‘Negative’ Fearful things can form a “Positive” Association.
This answer is another variation on the same theme, but it works on a fundamental misunderstanding of how Reinforcement and counterconditioning work. The principle is that you can change a negative association to a positive association by providing a “Positive reinforcer”. so what is the issue with this?
The Homonym Problem. “Positive” in the instance of operant conditioning does not mean “Good”, it Means “Add”. Just like Negative does not mean “bad”, it means “subtract”. This is different to the idea of counterconditioning, where someone may attribute good (more desirable) or bad (less desirable) behaviours. This core (and often deliberate) misinterpretation of the word conflates a positive or negative association with positive and negative reinforcment/ punishment - the two are not the same and cannot be used interchangeably.
In this particular instance, Fearful behaviour is undesirable, and could be classed as negative in that sense. Fear is the behaviour which is practiced with the simple goal of survival. The removal (subtraction, ‘negative punishment’) of fearful behaviour is the goal here. To reduce a fearful state, which is to say specifically that we want to reduce flight, avoidant or shutdown behaviour - reduce sensitivity and reduce the physiological reaction. None of which can be done simply by providing a dog with food or touch (loosely and incorrectly classed as both positive reinforcement and ‘good’ interchangeably).
The Math Problem. The equation sounds like it should work, because if we were to take a mathematical approach then we could see ourselves balancing out the equation from our dogs point of view - but the reality is that behaviour is rarely that simple. If were to apply it in practice in our own lives, we know that we would not move any further forward in an effort to conquer our fears (Spiders and Snakes, Heights, Large Crowds, Roller Coasters, Clowns…) by giving us something that we feel good about (Jelly beans and chocolate, A fresh bunch of spring flowers, some relaxing music). One does not equate to, or subtract from another.
“The third assumption is that there is only one form of physical affection - when in fact physical affection could be broken down into a great many different specific behaviours - and every single one of these could have a different impact on the dog in question. Picking up a dog and cradling them is a ver different activity to stroking their head, which is different to massaging their major muscle groups - and we don’t know how any dog may feel about any of these.”
(good but not right) Answer Three | Affection is a reinforcer, and like all reinforcers will encourage behaviours that we don’t want - including fearful behaviours, if given at the wrong time.
The principle with this answer is that if we recognise that touch is a form of reinforcer in the same way as more obvious ones such as food or a toy, then any form of reinforcer delivered when a dog is practicing undesirable behaviour will by definition reinforce that behaviour. So the reasonable conclusion would be that giving affection. to a dog practicing fearful behaviour will make this behaviour more common. This answer is a slightly better interpretation of the science, but it makes certain assumptions that need assessment.
Where this answer is correct is that it makes us conscious of the fact that we are giving affection, and what we are giving it too. However there are several key assumptions in this answer that are incorrect, which need further assessment.
The first assumption is that affection is in fact a reinforcer, which as previously discussed may not be the case if a dog has an undesirable relationship with touch to begin with. When this is the case, it is actually of particular concern because it normally means that the more someone tries to intervene, the worse the fear becomes because it is compounded by an avoidance with physical contact.
The second assumption which needs assessment is whether or not there is a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ time to give affection - so whilst we can say with certainty that a dog which is in a high state of flight or panic will not receive affection in a beneficial manner, there may be times when touch is beneficial.
The third assumption is that there is only one form of physical affection - when in fact physical affection could be broken down into a great many different specific behaviours - and every single one of these could have a different impact on the dog in question. Picking up a dog and cradling them is a ver different activity to stroking their head, which is different to massaging their major muscle groups - and we don’t know how any dog may feel about any of these.
(best) Answer Four | Affectionate behaviours have pre-existing associations based on the relationship between the dog and the human being, and depending on which behaviours we use, at what times, and for which reasons, we can promote or reduce fearful responses.
In other words? It depends on the dog.
The most important thing to understand when it comes to using physical affection, or any reinforcer with a dog - is not to make assumptions. You should always start with an assessment of how your dog responds to different forms of physical contact and on what parts of the body. It is very often the case that particular forms of touch - faster or more frantic touch, or more anxious touch - is likely to generate a more excited or anxious response, but not a calm one. Many dogs respond differently to physical contact around sensitive areas like their heads, tails and feet - compared to areas with major muscle groups such as the shoulders and hips, or low pressure areas such as the chest. Deep tissue massage will more often than not, but not always have a calming effect on the dog - and some dogs respond well to heavy, deep impact patting over the body, whilst others do not.
The second thing that you must factor in is how you feel in yourself when giving contact to a fearful dog. In my experience, people that are highly expressive in their empathy will generate more panicked and anxious reactions - whilst people who make careful and considered emotional expressions are less likely to create this reaction. This is also true for people who move quickly or in a frantic or chaotic manner, and is also true for people who use lots of high pitched noise in their communication. These behaviours are almost universally uncomfortable to most dogs. Being able to outwardly present a picture of being very quiet, calm and confident allows a dog to mirror the same behaviour, and trust in the instructions they are given. It is easier for them to process key information, and understand the intention of the person who is handling them.
The third thing to factor in is exactly what a dog is doing when being given affection. A dog that is in ‘high flight’, being restrained on a lead and under significant tension, is not a dog that should be being given invasive contact. By comparison, a dog that is sitting down and holding their own weight, without trying to move away, is in a much better state of mind to receive affection. Understanding key contact and pressure points will enable you to guide a dogs body from high flight into a relaxed sit with physical touch - and the repetitions of these touch interactions can build a very strong association that the touch requires that they relax.
Similarly, a dog that is frantically jumping up, whining or crying to be held is not in a state of mind to be able to receive physical contact in a healthy way. This often represents a dependency that is not healthy to maintain, and more often than not needs to be addressed to prevent injury to the dog and to their owner. These dogs typically have no ability to manage their own personal space, which can be a contributing factor to their lack of confidence.
Conclusion
We teach our clients to practice Mindful Affection - which is affection given in the right way, at the right time, to promote the right behaviour. It means learning when is best to interact and when not to, and how to move our dogs state of mind from one space to another with good timing and conscious, considered touch.
